The Postal Service
A Fine Frenzy
Iron & Wine.
I keep leaning towards the still; the mellow and slightly sad.
My heart is currently built of tentative acoustic chords; melancholy piano and gentle synth vibrations...I find myself straining to find connections between myself and the lyrics I hear, as if I need to know I'm not alone.
I need music to soothe and encourage, to comfort me even as it makes me ache.
I need to know this too shall pass.
It's irritating how wounded I feel by such a tiny slight.
In the grand scheme of my life; my romantic history, I've endured far greater hurts than this. This is a stubbed toe to an amputee, a cold to a cancer victim. This is merely a slap to my ego that reverberates down to my heart.
I feel winded, I feel wounded, I feel wronged. I feel the sore feeling in the back of the throat of wanting to cry. I feel the inexplicably feminine need to eat chocolate and write endless angry words in my journal.
Had my heart been whole to begin with, it would have survived this unscathed. But its old cracks and weak parts have not fully healed, and so the stinging vibrations sent from ego to heartstrings plucked out a decidedly dissonant melody and shook loose some stitches.
It's not a fun way to feel.
In other news, on Friday I got to be a part of my first photoshoot with Scot Woodman Photography. It was completely and utterly amazing.....Scot is an absolute gem; patient and creative and quietly wonderful. Here's a little preview of some of his epic work:
You can see the rest of his photography at http://www.flickr.com/photos/scotwoodmanphotography. There's also a link to his page on the right of my blog. Do yourself a favor and explore a little; he's fantastic. Hopefully we'll be doing another shoot in the next couple weeks. Smile.
My heart is not broken, but it's certainly bruised. A little roughed up and offended.
I'll get over it.
All of a sudden I realize that it only hurts worse to fight it,
So I embrace my shadow,
And hold on to the morning light.